I thought that the best time to write this is while I am fully feeling what I will be writing about. Today is a normal Friday and I have done what I often do and taken the dog for a walk. Nothing too energetic and enjoyable for that alone time other than a dog of course. And nature which really does add value to the walk.

Porridge is always the go to breakfast for me when I can as I know how much carbohydrate it contains and roughly the speed at which my body will digest it. Important as one of my hidden illnesses is Type 1 Diabetes, a chronic condition caused by natural antibodies attacking the insulin producing cells that operate in the pancreas. This means that I don’t naturally produce insulin any longer so I inject it. Another rather important aspect of Diabetes is that my body no longer controls its own breakdown of glucose from carbohydrate so unless I manage it the level can be either too high (hyperglycaemia or hyper) or too low (hypoglycaemia or hypo). Either of these can finish me off if not controlled.

A normal body with a healthy pancreas would operate between 5 and 8 mmol/L and also produce insulin as the body requires it to break down carbs and store these as glucose or burn them off. Often where there is inbalance in this process and the pancreas can become overworked this can lead to a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes which can often, not always, be treated and cured. There is no known cure for Type 1 Diabetes.

I also manage my glucose levels using a great piece of tech called a CGM or continuous glucose monitor. This uses a sensor (which is embedded into the upper arm and changed every two weeks) and this links to a phone app which collects the data so I can view my levels 24/7. I can also share this info with another phone so my wife can monitor me too. Very handy to have that aspect in case I do get into trouble and my levels drop to a dangerous level.

There are some amazing support groups and charities operating around Diabetes and I represent two of them JDRF and more locally the Norfolk Diabetes Trust.

So back to today and how I am feeling. I am sluggish and very tired and struggling to focus fully and often my memory can become affected. I may forget what I should be doing or sometimes who I should be meeting. I can also suffer with mood swings and just become confused at the simplest of things.

Alongside Type 1 I was also diagnosed three years ago with ME or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and to give it a full name if you are interested Myalgic Encephalomyelitis.

Not very much is known about this condition and it is only recently it has started to be formally recognised as a condition at all even though it can be totally debilitating to some. What I know of it is that some days it will wipe me out totally to the point of absolute exhaustion and most likely enforced sleep. I also have memory issues and this was explained by a consultant as my memory being like a filing cabinet without suspension files to neatly store relevant thoughts to easily recount when needed.

My cabinet fills up until full and then cannot store anything else and this can present itself as a short term memory loss of peoples name and as a connector of folks this can occasionally be quite awkward.

There are levels of ME from slightly problematic all the way through to constantly bed ridden and still so much is being researched and discovered regarding this really difficult condition. One of the side affects can be a massive knock to confidence and reluctance to engage in anything at all

So these conditions can be completely non evident to folks I meet and work with. I do always discuss these with clients as it is good that they know that I may sometimes be tired or even completely unable to operate at all.

Sometimes to get through a call or a meeting my my body will flood with adrenaline which will often have a really damaging relapse as soon as I know I can relax from being on demand. This is known as the fight or flight response and triggers the glucose management therefore putting pressure on the immune system. This is all too often really exhausting and again can often force near collapse with tiredness.

All management issues of course and when managed correctly none of this needs to be difficult or life threatening. That is not always the reality of the circumstances but does remain the aspiration